13 Reasons We Need to Get Off Dating Apps. Now!
What the hell happened to us?
We sit there glued to our phones, tablets and computers pouring our hearts out about wanting someone to love us for who we are yet we sit there hypocritically swiping away, judging people on what they look like.
Sure, it’s now the world we live in and dating digitally has completely changed the landscape in terms of how we meet somebody. But, it’s not the only way.
We need to get off dating apps. Now.
ONE: It’s so Anti-Social
A fun night out with friends is now littered with periodic checks on Tinder, Happn and or Grindr. I constantly get phones shoved into my face asking “what do you think of her?” or “Do you think he’s hot?”. No longer can we just go out and not worry about some virtual person that might or (most probably) might not be the love of our life.
TWO: It’s Time Consuming
Life’s about doing stuff! Sitting in front of a screen spending hours of your life writing LOL to things that aren’t even funny or sending monkey emojis is such a waste. Replying to all the messages takes time and is probably the last thing you want to do after a long day at work too. Go and do all the things you want to do and don’t let dating apps and sites detract you from all the cool things in life.
THREE: It Creates Laziness
No longer are we putting in the effort to go out there and open ourselves up to meeting people in the “real world”. I mean, why would we? All we need to do is turn our phones on and voila – hundreds of “people” at our fingertips.
FOUR: It Gives People a Chance to Hide Behind a Digital Mask
We can hide behind filtered photos and plaster our profile with things we think people want to hear.
FIVE: We Treat People Like Objects
I’ve said this before. But “winking” at someone or “favouriting” someone is no different to adding a pair of shoes or t-shirt to your “basket” on Amazon or your “watch” list on eBay. I’m nobody’s fucking pair of shoes that they can come back to if they haven’t had a better offer, thank you very much.
SIX: We’re Still Judging People on What They Look Like
As mentioned earlier…. No matter how amazing someone can be once we get to know them – the first thing we’re doing is judging them on what they look like. I’m the first to say that you need to be physically attracted to somebody – but they could be the love of your life and you’d never know because you’re judging them on their choice of jacket for their profile pic.
SEVEN: Rejection is More Frequent
Sure – the more “no’s” you get will get you closer to a “yes”….. But it can take its toll after a while if you’re sending out tons of messages daily. It damages our self-esteem and makes us a little despondent when meeting anyone.
EIGHT: Virtual Relationships are Taking the Place of Physical Relationships
We chat to someone for weeks/months before we actually meet up with them in person. Some people have no intention to meet at all and are just happy to keep us dangling there constantly cancelling on us. Which brings me to the next point……
NINE: We’re Less Connected to the Human Aspect of it All
Just because we don’t see the person physically doesn’t mean there’s not a person on the other end. Things like “ghosting” are becoming more and more frequent as we seem to care less about doing the right thing and behaving in a respectable manner. I mean, come on – how hard is it to be honest with someone and just tell them you’re not interested?
TEN: They’re Making Us Bitter
All you have to do is scroll down Twitter to see how many bitter and twisted people there are when it comes to dating apps. Strangers hiding behind their avatars sharing screen shots and conversations with the world. NEWSFLASH – if they’re making you bitter and you’re not enjoying dating apps anymore…. Delete them. It’s that simple.
ELEVEN: We’re Constantly Trying to Sell Ourselves
We’re amazing people once somebody gets to know us. The problem is just that – getting somebody to know us. Some people are receiving so many messages a day that they don’t even bother reading them anymore. I get that. The issue is that we’re now trying to make ourselves sound unique and super amazing hoping to cut through the noise of all the “run-of-the-mill” profiles and messages…. And it’s exhausting.
TWELVE: Our Social Skills Are Suffering
Somebody can be AMAZING at texting and messaging, yet put them in front of an actual person and they can barely look them in the eye or have an interesting conversation. Again, the whole “hiding behind a digital mask” thing isn’t healthy.
THIRTEEN: Our Grammar Skills Are Suffering Too
Wut. Gr8. Gonna. Wanna. There. Your.
I can keep going. Adults spelling words like this or using them in wrong context…. Well, the mind boggles. It’s such a massive turn off too!
Here’s the thing. Dating apps and sites are here to stay, but you don’t have to rely on them to meet somebody amazing these days. If you go out there and do all the things you want to do you create an environment that attracts certain people – generally the people who are into the same things you are. That old cliché of “things will happen when you least expect them to” is actually true if you stop focusing on meeting somebody and just focus on yourself.
Thanks for reading as always. Jordi