Thirty Something London

The Role Of Social Media During A Break Up

Gone are the days when breaking up with someone meant that you might not ever have to hear from or see your “ex” ever again.

In this day and age of “social” media we’re unfortunate enough to live with constant reminders of everything from our previous relationships.

Here is my experience with the role of social media during a break up and my advice on how to deal with it.

My ex-girlfriend “defriended” me on Facebook before I’d even had an explanation as to why she didn’t want to be with me anymore. I remember coming into work the next day and automatically seeing myself as “single”. “Now the world could share my pain and embarrassment”, I thought before I’d even had the chance to explain to anyone what had happened.

So, what happens next? What is the best way to go about it? Where on Earth do I start?

After the initial wave of posts on my “wall” from friends, it was interesting to see that not one of her friends asked to see how I was doing, yet none of them “defriended” me knowing that they would never see me again. Am I supposed to “defriend” them? How does this work? I didn’t “defriend” anyone, as I felt I’d best leave the ball in their court as I hadn’t anything to hide. Maybe they might actually ask one day how I was doing once everything had died down. I’m still waiting.

For some people this is normal post break up behaviour.

For some people this is normal post break up behaviour.

Do I completely block her as so not to be tempted to look at her profile? Am I supposed to delete and or “de-tag” all the photos of her on my profile?

I decided to leave everything as it was.  If she wanted to “stalk” me I figured that was her perogative. I don’t know if that was the
best idea initially as I was constantly seeing her being tagged in friends’ photos having fun. To me that said “I’m single and having so much fun without my boyfriend – to think I wasted all those years. Now I’m off to have promiscuous sex with every guy in this bar – buah ha ha ha ha ha”! Even though that probably wasn’t even close to the truth. It still hurt. I found myself trying to look at her page too, which certainly didn’t help me in any way. No matter how painful I knew it would be – I still found my hands automatically typing her name in the search box.

I don’t know if there’s a right or wrong way to deal with anything after a break up as everybody’s different, though had I not had to deal with social media accounts professionally – I would have certainly cancelled my Facebook and Twitter pages completely at least until I knew I was ready to be confronted by my past.

My advice for what it’s worth. Try and drop off the face of the Earth as much as possible if you can with social media. Your close friends and family will obviously stay in contact anyway – and they’re the people you want to be around and find comfort in. If you stay on social media, try not to air your dirty laundry – it won’t make you or them look any better. Be the bigger person and don’t give them the satisfaction knowing that you’re thinking of them. Go and lead an amazing life when you’re ready.




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