Thirty Something London

London Loo Tours Review

I’ve done some random things in my life, I can now add being led around central London by a woman holding a plunger to that ever-growing list. I’m going to strongly refrain from using toilet-related puns in this post, as I don’t want it to turn into a piece of CRAP.

So, I was invited to go on a “Pub-crawl-meets-group-date-meets-loo-tour” (stay with me on this one) by leaders in cool, random London events, Doing Something. With my, “what have I got to lose?” attitude, I decided to drag a girlfriend (a girl…. who’s a friend) along and see what sort of single people in London would want to chance their arm at finding true love via the London Loo Tours.

To our surprise, there were only 4 people (including the tour guide) waiting for us at the meeting point. The 3 people on the tour consisted of 2 girls and an over-zealous 40 something man (himself, also tour guide) who was identical in both appearance and manner to Martin Gary from the film, Role Models (also starring my alleged Doppelganger, Sean William Scott/Stiffler). It was apparent that it was no longer a night for singles to mingle, it was now just a regular tour.

Had I known this in advance, I probably wouldn’t have accepted the invitation. It’s not a tour I would normally be interested in, but hey, I am always up for broadening my horizon.

We started off at the Jubiloo, on the Southbank heading across the Thames as our lovely and “over excited about toilets” tour guide, Rachel walked backwards giving us facts along the way.

Before heading to our first drink stop at the Cellar Door, we learnt that the Urilift urinal (a urinal that basically pops out of a manhole in the evening) contributes to keeping 10,000 gallons of pee off the streets of Westminster. See, I was listening.

As the tour carried on we were also privy to seeing London’s only “Sewer Gas Destructor Lamp” (a gas lamp powered solely by sewer¬† gas).¬† Before the tour concluded, we were also lucky enough to learn about urine deflectors from the 1800’s just off Fleet street, a toilet in an old bank volt now situated in a Wetherspoon’s and learnt that we spend about an average of a year and a half of our lives on the toilet.

So, if you are looking for something completely out of leftfield and seeing London in a different light, then the London Loo Tours certainly falls into that category.

Pic courtesy of



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