Thirty Something London

Learning to Flirt at the School of Romance

Couple flirting

Flirting is a dying art. It used to be all about tone of voice and body-language. Now it seems to just be some watered-down digital version involving emojis and “dick pics”.

I’ve always been super-confident when it comes to flirting. I know when I’m doing it, when I’m not doing it and even when I’m doing it without actually wanting to do it….. If you catch my drift. But, I wanted to speak to an expert – someone who did this for a living, someone who can tell me where to put my feet and whether my voice is too creepy – someone who doesn’t rely on emojis and dick pics!

Alas, I enrolled in the School of Romance via Not On The High Street.

Ordinary People…

So, I arrive at Kettner’s in Soho to a bar with bubbles and nibbles and meet some of the other class participants in the hope of learning to flirt. There were couples, friends and singles all looking at getting their flirt on, it was interesting to see such an eclectic mix of people. I’m sure we were all sizing each other up as to how we ended up here.

Eventually we’re herded into a casually seated circle and Cate Mackenzie, our “larger-than life” mistress of ceremonies takes over.

Feel the Love!

Now, Cate’s story is that she’s a stand-up comedienne, and instantly had us all laughing and feeling a little more at ease. Whilst her initial warm up methods included us shouting how irresistible we were and completely letting our fears of embarrassment go each time we shouted it out, it was quite obvious from the start that most of us were going to leap out of our comfort zones for the evening.

Cate often touched up on 3 key aspects to flirting which were fun, release and commitment.

Fun was focussing on yourself first and doing all the cool, fun stuff that you wanted to do without over-thinking it. Whether it was clubbing with your friends until 3am in Shoreditch or going to a weekend festival in bare-feet on your own. If you were having fun and being yourself, eventually you’ll attract the type of people you want in your life – and I couldn’t agree more.

The release is based around all the heartache and pain and bullshit we’ve held onto over the years. You just need to get rid of it all – which is completely true, but not at all simple. This takes time and isn’t something you can just wake up one morning and decide to do. But, it goes with that age-old saying “you can’t look to the future if you’re still living in the past”. Coming from someone who was dumped – it’s easier said than done.

The commitment is based on committing to the person, the cause, the lifestyle. Like anything you need to give everything a real chance to actually make it work.

Flirt and Flirt Alike

Cate then emphasised the power of visualising what you wanted. Her ideal man was Joey from Friends and after visualising the whole Joey from Friends scenario she one day met a New Yorker named Joey. Airy fairy? Maybe. But It certainly won’t deter me from continuing to think about Mila Kunis….. Even if it has nothing to do with flirting.

I was then paired with a woman to do some eye contact/opening ourselves up exercises to help us with the whole practicality of it all. We had to look each other in the eye for 4 seconds at a time to feel certain levels of comfort. I wasn’t physically attracted to this woman at all, so to stare at her in a flirting type scenario was probably more uncomfortable than had we just been speaking as acquaintances or mates. But, hey – I guess that’s why we were there at the end of the day – to get out of our comfort zones and learn something.

After a frank discussion between the group to summarise where we were all at in terms of our flirt-filled lives Cate had one last exercise to make us look and feel like idiots……

Holding hands in a circle and singing Foreigner’s “I Want to Know What Love Is” at the top of our lungs. Hey, life is going to be pretty short if you can’t laugh at yourself. Good times.

Wanna Get Yo’ Flirt On?

If you want to try something different, whether you’re in a relationship, hanging with buddies or want to be bold on a first date – definitely check it out on Not On The High Street.


Pic courtesy of Galleryhip.



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