We’re All Just Sales People When It Come To Dating
I know who I am…
Wait, that’s wrong…..
I know EXACTLY who I am.
I know my good points, I know my bad points. And I’m over the fucking moon with the product of both of those. But, when it comes to today’s incredibly screwed-up dating landscape of Tinder and Bumble we’re all ditching who we really are for some condensed show reel full of fluff hoping that someone finds us even remotely attractive.
And it’s bullshit. But, I’ll get to that.
Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself…
We’re all salespeople whether we like it or not.
The nitty-gritty that makes us… Well… “us” is pushed aside to make way for our sales pitch introduction containing our 5 best filtered photos and some horse shit about how we love coffee and travel. Once we feel we have a decent product we go and push it out there hoping that someone will take the bait and want to hear more than just the intro.
AND THEN if they do take the bait, we have to write a message that’s quirky and unique and funny and interesting and concise enough so that they might actually respond. A message that’s been written and re-written 6 times. A message that in all honestly reads more like an Instagram-filtered version of what we really want to spit out in the “real world”.
But, Wait – There’s More
Now that we are well and truly in the middle of our sales pitch we’re hoping to get some “buying questions”. We pray that they’ll ask us more about the fluff we’ve projected out to the world as so we can inch closer to (heaven forbid) a real conversation…… Maybe even in person, strange as it must sound.
So, the goal of our sales pitch should be to meet up. I mean, who the hell needs a pen pal in this day and age? Especially in our thirties. If someone isn’t asking those buying questions of “so what are your plans over the weekend?” Or “I love the Transport Museum – we should totally geek out on trains and go some time, what do you think?” Are they really interested in what we’re selling?
Sometimes we’ll throw out the close and not hear anything back. It’s easier for them just to disappear than give us a real, concise “no thanks”. Yet, we wait…… Hoping they’re just not an impulse buyer and need time to make a decision. They don’t. They’re just not interested. In fact, they’re probably shopping around for a more “superior” product…. But, hey.
So, What Now?
The thing is…. Hmmmmmm. The thing is…… That if we’re resigned to selling ourselves for the rest of our dating lives then we might as well sell the real version of ourselves, right?
Photos that aren’t posed. Words that aren’t just our height or what personality type we are. Messages that aren’t just “hey”.
So, don’t be afraid to cut through the bullshit and show your true colours. Being comfortable in your own skin is an incredibly attractive trait. If someone doesn’t want to buy what you’re selling at least you know you’ve tried to sell the real deal….. Not some dodgy “Prado” knock-off.
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