Thirty Something London

If Someone Wants to Be With You…… They’ll Be With You

If Someone Wants to Be With You…… They’ll Be With You

“Why do we have to go and make things so complicated?” That Avril Lavigne had it so right! What a visionary.

When it comes to dating, we’re all complicating it too much. Waaaaaaaaay too much.

So, What Gives?

Good question….

I’m not going to sugar-coat this.

It’s all really simple…. If somebody wants to be with you, they’ll move heaven and earth to be with you. That’s it. There really isn’t much else to it. The problem is that we’re all starting to eat up someone else’s bullshit excuse as to why they don’t. And that’s not good….. It’s easy to do….. But, it’s not good.

So, We Should Just Leave It Then?

Well, kind of.

Recently somebody told me this after 2 dates “”Jordi, I feel like this could actually be something really good – so think we should stop before it goes any further”.

Wow. Yep. That happened.

But, this is the thing…… What am I supposed to do? Hound her? Beg her to tell me we should give it a shot and not give up? Sure, but that’s not what she wants – and she can only put the effort in to see it through if she wants to – and she clearly doesn’t. And I respect that – we all have opinions.

There’s no doubt that there’s more to it. She might be scared that this really could be something real at a point that she can’t quite fit that into her life. Or she could still have a sour taste in her mouth after a toxic relationship and doesn’t quite have the energy to see something through.

Hang On, So It’s Pretty Much Black and White Then?

The thing is…. All the in between stuff complicates it. Either they want to be with you or they don’t.

For example….

If they’re haven’t replied to you after a few days for no reason whatsoever – they probably don’t want to be with you. And if they’re giving you one-word answers and barely making any effort – they probably don’t want to be with you. Again, all of the excuses in the world won’t change that fact.

So, Is It Me?

Probably not. Unless you’re a complete dick. But, let’s assume you’re not.

I know who I am. I don’t wear a mask. I know how much effort I’ve put in and I know how I’ve conducted myself when we’ve spoken in real life and over the phone.

If someone doesn’t want to be with me that’s totally fine! It’s their choice! I’m just not for them. It doesn’t mean I’m damaged goods or that nobody likes me.. I’m just not somebody’s or a bunch of people’s cup of tea.

Don’t take it to heart.

Yeah, Right – It’s Easier Said Than Done

It stings.

There’s no question about that. I’m still stinging because I actually really liked that girl. But, it’s short-term…. And I have way too much going on long-term to let this really affect me.

So, my advice for what it’s worth….

Don’t get caught up on the fact that somebody doesn’t want to be with you. It happens. Focus on being yourself knowing that somebody out there WILL want to be with you and WILL put in the effort.

STOP! Thanks for reading as always! If you feel somebody can take something out of this – don’t forget to share it on Facebook and Twitter. Jordi.

 

 

 

 


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