Thirty Something London

Flirting Via Email

Blinkers

I’ve noticed a lot of things since being single. It’s as if being in a long term relationship had me wearing a pair “couple blinkers”. These so-called blinkers almost made me oblivious to even some of the most simple, everyday situations. Now that Ive been thrust into the world of singlehood and those blinkers have been well and truly ripped off and thrown into the fire, I’ve noticed that I pick up on EVERYTHING. Flirting via email being one of them.

Before having my heart ripped out a la Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom I was very happy in my relationship. I didn’t need to be vocal about it, that was the natural impression I gave off. Whenever I’d meet an attractive female in any capacity I would always mention that I had a girlfriend. Not straight away where she introduces herself and I shout “I have a girlfriend!” mid sentence like a special needs child, but casually and early into the conversation. With email it’s a little bit tougher.

The world of professional emailing is a beautiful world. A world filled with smileys whenever someone asks you to do a favour or an LOL added to show that even though this is a working environment, it doesn’t mean we can’t have a riot. Like most people, I receive countless emails everyday from people I work quite closely with. We’ve been working together for so long that we share a certain understanding with what’s appropriate and what’s probably going to cross the line. When I was in a relationship anything that might have been considered flirting went right over my head, as I was head over heels in love. Now, it’s a different story.

The Email

I received an email recently from a lady that I’ve been working with for at least a couple of years mentioning that she was ill. I was very PC and wished her well. She responds with “it sucks when you’re all alone and have nobody to look after you”. Now, the old me wouldn’t have even read into it. I would have sent her the email equivalent of patting her on the back and saying “there there, there there”. But, this time was different. I knew she was flirting and “fishing” more to the point, but she wasn’t the sort of person I’d take the bait with.  Let’s just say I’ve got bigger fish to fry (insert slide whistle here).
When I do respond, I mention that I’m sure she’ll be able to find someone to come over and look after her. She responds with a very straight to the point “why don’t you come over?……. LOL”.
It’s 11am, I nearly spat my 3rd cup of coffee all over the screen. I was getting pinned into a corner. There’s flirting and there’s flirting – but this was a straight out proposition. I like to think that even when I was in a relationship I would have picked up on this one. “Adding an LOL at the end, is that supposed to take the edge off it?” I think to myself. Does that make it less of a proposition? If this was a real conversation and a woman had asked me to come over and laughed out loud at the end (just imagine that for a moment. Want to have sex? Ha ha ha ha ha), I would have thought she was a wee bit special.

I must admit though, thinking about sex at 11am and putting it on a plate, via work email at that is either courageous, stupid, or she is literally in the “Last Chance Saloon” after a long drought.

The Response

I stare at the email. I stare long and hard (no pun intended). How do I respond now? This is my work email. What do I say now? I need to be as PC as possible. I don’t do smileys or LOL’s either, so I can’t just throw a load of those in there and hope for the best.

I respond by saying “Thanks, but I really can’t afford to get sick myself at the moment. Have lots of tea and soup.” Basically an email version of “there there”.

She doesn’t respond.

I sympathise with anyone that throws themselves out there and gets knocked back. It happens to all of us.

I haven’t heard from her since, so I can only assume she  found someone else to look after her. That, or she drowned in a bowl of soup.

STOP! If you related to flirting via email or just had a good laugh at my expense – don’t forget to share it via Facebook and Twitter below. Thanks, Jordi.


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