The biggest anti-climax of the year is here again. When it comes to New Year’s Eve – you can pretty much insert the following conversation as a template when speaking about it over a coffee:
“Awwwww, I just can’t bothered….. It’s too expensive. It’s too crowded. It always ends up being terrible.”
Well, anti-climax it is no more! It’s time to dust off those platform shoes, put on a clean pair of arse-less chaps, bathe in Lynx and make an impression. We’re young(ish) and have so much to look forward to because being single on New Year’s Eve totally rocks!
ONE: The Ex Factor
Sending and receiving drunk messages from exes when you’re single on New Year’s Eve is a birth right. It’s so wrong…… But, oh so right. No other message in the history of messages opens a bigger can of worms than “Happy New Year….. Thinking of you.”
TWO: Leave When You Want To
You’re not held to ransom at some god-awful wankfest of a party because your girlfriend is getting hammered with her friends knowing you’ll have to fireman carry her into a taxi you’ve been trying to hail for 2 hours whilst being abused for being a lousy boyfriend.
THREE: Go Where You Want to
You have your pick of the parties to go to! Here’s to more “body-shots at the bar” and less “Scrabble and a bottle of red” with your partner’s friends wearing knitted vests over shirts.
FOUR: Wake Up Where You Want To
There’s no better start to the year than stumbling out of some random’s house, sparking up a cigarette and going on Citymapper and clicking “get me home” trying to figure out exactly where the hell you are.
FIVE: The Walk Of Shame…… In Bulk
Safety in numbers! The 1st of Jan is the one day of the year where having smudged make-up, scruffy hair and smelling like a brewery when on the tube is the rule – not the exception.
SIX: Gettin’ By With a Little Help From Your Friends
Your friends are there to help you in numbers. From being a wingperson (yep, I said PERSON – very PC) to pulling your hair back when you’re hugging the porcelain bowl swearing you’ll never drink again – there is always more than one person to help. When you’re in a couple – you are one person’s responsibility and generally one person’s only. Oh the joys.
SEVEN: The Midnight Kiss
That sexy midnight kiss with that mysterious person you’ve been eyeing off is a total romantic reality……. Let’s just not wreck the moment by remembering what they looked like in the morning, right?
Thanks for reading as always. I hope you have a wonderful New Year and embrace everything that it brings with it! Jordi.