Thirty Something London

5 Ways To Deal With a Stalker

stalker funny

We all get the “Stage 5 Clinger” every now and then. Those people who won’t leave us alone. The ones who refuse to take the hint, no matter how open and honest we are. The ones that JUST. DON’T. GET. IT.

They still send us messages reading, “just watching The Voice LOL” or “looking in the fridge, not sure what to have for dinner LOL”. Why are they still sending us messages like this? Why are they still sending us messages at all? Why are they putting “LOL” on the end of everything?

After having to deal with a few recently. I had to take some more drastic measures despite being very open and up front about the fact that nothing was going to happen .

So, I thought I’d have a look at 5 ways to deal with a stalker. Enjoy.

1. Ignore Them

Don’t respond. Dooooooooooon’t. Don’t. Don’t do it.

They want you to respond.
They neeeeeeeeed you to respond.
If you respond it gives them that light at the end of the tunnel. “He loves me, I know he does, really. He just doesn’t know it yet” they’ll think.

You’re not being nice by responding, you’re giving them hope. Don’t.

2. Be Blunt

So, the ignoring part isn’t working. It’s time to spell it out to them. Unfortunately, I had to be really blunt recently with a really nice girl who just didn’t take “no” for an answer. It’s not normally in my nature, but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Here’s what I wrote word for word;

“I’ve been really nice and tolerant up until now, but I’ve had enough. The messages need to stop. You need to leave me alone! It’s getting really creepy. Do us both a favour and delete my number”.

She got the picture, and I’m sure it did her the world of good.

3. Get a Friend To Deal With It

You’re an adult, so you should be able to deal with it yourself. Sometimes though, if they’re not listening to you they might get the picture by listening to someone else….. That’s also if your friend can be bothered to take on your problems as well as their own. That’s what we call a great friend.

4. Block Them On Everything

Do you really want them to see all your photos? Read your tweets? Nope. Block block block! It’s an option, so use it. The sooner you block, the sooner they’ll get the picture.

5. Introduce Them To Someone Else

Just because they’re a stalker, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re crazy. They might be a lot more suitable to somebody else – somebody you know.

Dodge that bullet by becoming a matchmaker. Tell a friend they’re a great person, but they’re just not for you and arrange a meeting. Then sit back and let your friend deal with them.

┬áSTOP! If you laughed – you should share! Dealt with a stalker yourself recently? Don’t forget to share this post via the Facebook and Twitter buttons below. Thanks, Jordi.


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